So... What's this blog about?
The Pink Elephant is centered around things people think about but tend not to talk about. Everyone has sex, yet it can be a hush-hush affair in many households. Sex is just one of those elephants in the room, so to speak. I'll also be including comprehensive reviews on sex toys. The main theme is all things sexual with a bit of comedy and off-beat topics thrown in.
Why can I trust your reviews?
I provide honest reviews on sex toys. It doesn't matter if I've received an item for free; I'll still tell you if it's crap. I try and think beyond myself when reviewing. Just because something may not work for me, there might be certain people who may like a toy. For example, let's say I'm given a dildo to review. I may not particularly love it because it's too big for me or not my size preference. Even if it's not exactly for me, I still try the toy. You know, for science. Then, I'll let you know that the monster dong may scare some folks, but size queens may be in for a thrill.
With that said: some toys are just crap. Almost comically so. That's when I get more... bombastic in my reviews (and when the funky Photoshop comes out). They make for entertaining reviews, but the bottom line will be run away or don't buy. I'll always include alternatives in these situations. I like to give two main messages in my reviews:
1) Is the toy a good value?
2) Would I recommend this toy?
Regardless, I implore readers to read reviews from different people. When looking to buy a big ticket item, I go to a few reviewers that have similar preferences to mind and have review styles I like. Having a few trusted reviewers can really help you from buying a dud, and reviewers are almost always willing to answer additional questions you might have.
What's your reviewing system? How do you decide if a toy is great or not?
Every reviewer has a different style and way of evaluating toys. I like to look at them from multiple angles. I like to think of the design aspect of a toy. I'll admit: I can be a bit soft when it comes to innovative and new toys like the Stronic Eins or Hello Touch because, well, they can be really cool (but I will tell you to wait for the 2.0 version if it's too buggy). Sometimes I can be anal about clean seams and lines on a toy. Unless it's textured, a standard toy shouldn't be a bitch to clean. Toys should be well made. I have little tolerance for toys I need to take pliers to for them to work.
Sometimes I'll get another copy of a toy and give it to a friend. I like to hear their feedback as well. I'll listen to my partner's opinions on a toy. To get a good ranking from me the toy must be well constructed, a good material, have some power, not be too loud, and do it's job. If it doesn't meet all these requirements it won't get top marks.
Do you do lingerie reviews?
Yes, on occasion. I tend to be a corset kind of girl, but I've reviewed other lingerie as well. Here are my measurements for comparison. Other things to note: I am a pear shape with Hispanic Fat Distribution (read: too much ass).
Height: 5 Feet 4 Inches
Weight: 135 pounds
Waist: 26 inches
Hips: 36 inches
Bust: 34 D
What kind of toy should I buy?
It
depends on what you're looking for. If you have a price point in mind
as well as a few other specifications, I'd be happy to help you out. I will eventually have some buyer's guides, but you can always shoot me a message.
You keep referencing science. What's up with that?
I'm a biologist by name but specialized in neuroscience. Nerve endings make sex, well, sex. Either way, science is the perfect excuse to stick something (safe!) in a vagina, see what that button does, or take a circular saw to a dildo. It's not crazy; it's science! Think of MythBusters, but more phallic.
Why should I trust what you say?
The beauty is that you don't have to. Feel free to research anything I say on my blog. While I try and be accurate, not everyone is perfect. If you see an inaccuracy in any of my posts, don't hesitate to tell me, just please provide a reputable source or two. I will be most appreciative, credit you, and think of you as an upstanding Homo sapien.
You didn't answer the question(s) I have.
Shoot me a message. I'll be happy to include it in the F.A.Q.
