Horny Old People

Move over Blanche! Everyone probably knows the STD stats on colleges: 1 in 4 people will have an STD at any given time during those four, formative years of higher education. And while people usually calm down during their middle years, there is still a group full of horny, diseased ridden, individuals who will do anything to get their freak on.

Yeah, you got it. Senior citizens. Viagra has become the ultimate wonder drugs, allowing older men to get it up wow their ladies. Rates of STDs such as syphilis and chlamydia have increased in older groups of people. In fact, there are reports that seniors aged 75 and older are getting it on multiple times a week if they can. And here I thought my granny was the only golden girl freak. 

Yeah, gramps is trying to get some lovin'. Photo credit to: day2day on photozap.com

It just seems that older people don't give a fuck. And it makes sense. Especially in old age homes and what not. Really, if you're 80 or 90, who's thinking about putting on a rubber? I can only imagine the liberation women feel when they hit menopause. They no longer have to worry about pregnancy. If they are with a partner, it probably makes for some happy, worry free, kinky sex. Older people probably figure they won't be around much longer, so why not strip down and have that orgy during bingo night?

I look forward to when I hit that age where I don't have to give a fuck anymore. I mean, I don't really now, but I want to give as many fucks as a 90 year old gives. I wanna be that old guy that just let's his schlong fly out in the wind while hunkering about on my walker. That's how many fucks I want to give.

Fucking Jehovah Witnesses

Okay, so the flavor of discontent is JW's today, but I pretty much wave a big middle finger to the entirety of organized religion.

You want to believe something? Fine, your business. And that's exactly how it should be: your business. Don't come knocking on my door. Don't tell me I'm going to hell. And don't tell me that your imaginary man is more important that someone else's imaginary man. Enjoy it, but don't force it on the rest of us.

Now, while I despise all other organized religions, Jehovah Witnesses almost take the cake (wait until my tirade of Jews for Jesus). While many of these religions are cults, JW's are the most socially accepted, cult (I put that because scientology is regarded as a load of bullshit by almost everyone).

I have to be nice the ones that knock upon my chamber door because my family is unfortunately connected to some of these folks. So if I have my say, shit would hit the fan. I would be called an anti-christ possessed by a demon and cause a rift in the group. So I shut up. I've done a hell of a job dodging these people for most of my formative and young adult years. But just hearing them... fucking insane.

Their beliefs can actually fucking kill someone. Or their children. If you're not familiar, JW's will have been going back and forth on the blood issue. There's a whole break down on what some groups say are okay and some say are not. While wiki answers isn't the most reliable source, it does have JW's explaining why they shouldn't have blood. Their opinions vary to some degree, but the main point is simple. JW's refuse blood transfusions, but are okay with IV's, and non-blood transfusions. Some are okay with taking a part of the blood, but not it whole (like plasma would be okay for some people). It gets pretty damn complicated.

Basically, they bend the rules enough until they can sleep at night. I have problems with the one JW stating that blood substitute transfusions are superior. They can potentially have uses, but in the 70 odd years of creating them, none are currently approved by the FDA. There are some potential ones being studied in other countries, but for now your best bet is blood.

Here's the kicker: Watchtower (the head of JW's) are pretty okay with organ transplants. But they have to be drained of blood! No, really, that's the rule. A few decades ago the JW's said organ transplants and other life saving treatments were forbidden and akin to cannibalism. After enough people died, they decided to change their tune a bit. But it's still not enough. The amount of craziness in this principal hurts my brain on so many levels.

If you want to kill yourself and refuse blood, fine. More for me. But it's another thing when you let your child die because of your prehistoric beliefs. And interestingly enough, it's the parent (who is JW) who decides to break the sacred oath and get blood for their children. Sadly, their children are so indoctrinated that they refuse, go to court, and end up being declared "mature minors."

Crazy shit. Also: some groups claim that they need to be pure to get to heaven. As in no blood or organs (Even though Watchtower may have some rules, there are sections within JW that have some interpretations of their own). Quick medical fact: red blood cells, the number 1 component you need for most transfusions, only live a couple of months. Bone marrow makes blood cells, so essentially, you're entirely yourself if you live a few more months. How about that?

Basically, some JW's are fucking crazy. I won't even get into excommunication or other cult practices they indulge in (another 10 posts for me in the future, I guess). 

But yeah... there are some fucking crazy Jehovah Witnesses

I Wanna do Acid

Yeah, you saw it right. And it'll probably be something you see every now and again on here. I want to try acid at least once. I'll have some precautions set up before doing it, (which I'll discuss in a minute) but first I'll give you guys some info on some drugs.

Now, I'm not going to lecture all you alcoholics out there. Sometimes you need that sambuca to keep the edge off. I get it. Just wanted to show you something cool: As a bio nerd, this is the type of shit that gives me a hard on. It's an educational cartoon about how drugs affect your brain. It also has mic tripping out, which is entertaining in itself.

So which one do you look like after that rave, huh?

Now here's the part where I'm supposed to say, "Drugs are bad, mmkay?" but in actuality, only some drugs are really bad. And it's all about perspective.

Don't do heroine, coke, and for fuck's sake, don't touch meth! That shit's made from antifreeze and bleach. That's just two ingredients. Who the hell thought that was smart to put in your body? Here's a list of some of the other crazy crap they put in this stuff. Because of these assholes, I have to sign my life away for some fucking allergy meds. Of course, the U.S. is the number one producer of this concoction. Cause 'Murica: we're good at killing folks in all kinds of ways. Oh, and if your're still retarded and want to do meth, this is how your teeth will look when you take meth. Sexy, ain't it?

Moving on: Heroine and Coke just plain fucking kill you. Heroine blows out your veins, so when the day comes that you need an IV, you're fucked. Cocaine weakens the lining of your heart. Yeah, it eats away on your heart. Both of these guys are bad news. Also, if you ever get injured and you were a junkie, pain meds don't do shit since you went and got tolerant off the strongest opiates on the planet. Morphine, the shit that makes you forget about the pain, won't do anything if you're shooting up.

Okay, so now I told you about some of the shit you should NEVER do. Now we'll get to some fun stuff.

No one in history has died directly from smoking weed. Never. It might have been laced, but you just can't die from normal to high doses of weed. You're memory may be crap, but you'll be okay. As you may know, weed does have benefits. You should get out of the house every once in a while, but weed is fine. And yes, you alchies, drink moderately. I make you guys drinks, so for God's sake, don't stop drinking! But if it makes you mean or stupid, stay away from the bottle. And please, please, please, don't drive. I'll be more than happy to call you a cab.

I didn't mention some drugs yet. You know them. The club drugs. Acid. E. Shrooms. The pill popping stuff. If you're going to do some of these drugs. There are some key rules.

1. Have a good spotter - a sober person committed to watching you do stupid shit and promises not to record it.
2. Be in a good state of mind - a lot about having a bad trip has to do with how you're feeling before you take the drug. Meditate, have a great day, just feel good before hand before deciding to take psychedelics. 
3. Know your source - don't just get any drug. Know where it comes from. A bad pill can sure as hell kill you.
4. DO. NOT. MIX. This is what can turn these drugs deadly. Don't take anything else after you pop that pill. No booze, no weed, no other pills. NOTHING. This is what kills people the most when they take club drugs. That and not having a smart spotter.
5. Start small. Take the smallest available dose. Trust me, unless you're a hard core user, the smallest dose will have you flying. 
6. Remove any easy temptations from yourself - hide the pointy objects, the matches. Give your car keys to your spotter. And your phone too, we don't want you giving acid texts. 
7. Try and be in an easy to control environment. You don't need to be anywhere high energy to enjoy psychedelics. Don't worry, your brain will do all the wonder fo you, even if you decide to take it in your back yard. You'll probably have a hell of a conversation with the trees there. 

You totally want to talk to him. 

The big rule is not to make drugs a habit. It may be that wild thing you do once or twice. It should not become an every day thing, and should always prepare before a use. It's always a risk to take drugs because you don't know how your body will respond. But never be afraid to call for help if something goes wrong. Your life is more important than a lecture from your family.

So... yeah. I wanna do acid.

3 Things Little Girls Shouldn't Wear

Okay parents, I may not be one myself, but it's time to take responsibility for some things. This is only to the minority of you, but scarily enough the amount of those guilty are increasing. Maybe it's because of that crazy-ass Toddlers & Tiaras show (who the hell in their right mind dresses their kid as a hooker?). It's time to say be that voice for all the other bystanders out there who see little kids in clothes far too sexy, revealing, or just plain unnecessary.  

1. High Heels

Ladies wear these for a variety of reasons. Some want to make their legs look longer. For some, it just matches their dress. Others do it to seek a mate. And a few die-hards just have to have their heels. That's fine sweetie, you go ahead and narrow your pelvis so you have a hard time popping out a kid. But don't you dare start your 3 year-old on heels so she can have squished organs and problems.

No! Because fuck you, that's why.

There are entire collections of heels for toddlers! Go ahead and type in a search for it on Google. Take your time, I'll wait. In case you're too lazy, I did the work for you. Okay, they're not sky high and four plus inches, but if it those heels were 4 inches, they'd be the size of a little girl's forearm. There are hosts of doctors and scientists warning parents not to put their girls in heels because it can potentially cause irreparable damage and even make a female unable to give birth vaginally. 

2. Thongs

Yes, you saw that right. Thongs. Kmart got some major backlash for having crotchless thongs for girls as young as 7. Yes, that's right. Seven. What the hell does a 7 year-old need a thong for? 

There's no need to go into the nitty gritty about thongs (but I will anyway). Even for older women, those who wear thongs have a higher chance of getting UTIs and vaginal infections. It's quite simple really. There's a string. In your ass. Moving about swishes that little piece of fabric back and forth, letting all the bacterial near your ass to travel to Va-jay-jay land. Symptoms of these issues can include but are not limited to: painful urination, trouble urinating, odorous crotch, and bad discharge. That's exactly the kind of completely preventable ailment some parents are giving their kid.

3. Shorts with "Juicy" on Them

Like them, or hate them, these bastard shorts are here to stay. Before it was something of a novelty, but now the words on shorts are just increasing. A lot of brands are now including a pair of shorts with the company logo on them. But I draw the line at seeing them for girls.

Now a days, sparkly words and glitter are appearing on all things tush: jeans, shorts, pajamas, everything. Sure, the company might say "Oh, these are designed for our teen line," but who the hell is willingly letting their kid out of the house with this? First of all, shorts designed for "teens" still come in extra-small, more than fitting for girls younger than the advertised age. Even so, if I saw my teen daughter with anything on the ass of her shorts, I'd make her wear amish garb.

Even putting "cute" designs on the butt of jeans is just not appropriate for little girls. Sure, a pretty butterfly might be on it, bit it's not needed. I'm sorry, I know we shouldn't dress specifically to protect ourselves from other people. No matter what you do, they'll always be an asshole. But look at the message you're sending to your girl. There is emphasis to the butt. The butt is important. The butt is something to show off. There is more to girls than their ass and those lessons should be taught without the word "Juicy."

Thursday Book Rec: Fast Food Nation

One book I think every one should read is the infamous Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser. Also a documentary you can watch, Fast Food Nation delves into the dirty business of mass food production. If you're a fan of KFC or the mighty Big Mac, you might see yourself pushing away after reading this book.

Yes you. You are a monster for eating this poor baby chick! (but the crunchy chick is Soooo good!)

If you were ever interested in learning how the government aided Big Farming and basically screwed the little guy, this is a great, readable book. Times may change and the book might be 10 years old, but it's a good read will a multitude of still-valid information for the everyday consumer. Schlosser also analyzes how U.S. culture was prime for the domination of fast food and how our lifestyles have evolves with it.

Overall, a really good read the covers a variety of topics that all center on one thing: what we put in our mouth. Being a more informed consumer is tougher these days, considering botched label laws, product fillers, media propaganda, and major food lobbyists. If you want to be enlightened, pick this baby up.

How's What's and Whys

Welcome all!

Today's the start of great things! At this point no one's around to care, but someone's eventually going to be asking questions about my blog and the stereotypical How's, What's, and Why's of Mayhem. So here they are.

Neuronic Mayhem was created to say some of the more radical ideas that come up but never make it to paper. So, the general focus is modern day Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll (and religion and politics). Basically it's the "things you wouldn't say at dinner with people you need to impress," blog.

There's also a lighter side. Along with suffering from an extreme case of lack-a-filter, I'm also interested in education and promoting education of others. Along with rants about the newest political blunder, there will be book recommendations, social observations, along with stuff I find interesting.

I'll put out the warning/disclaimer you're supposed to: I'm not racist, bigoted, sexist, or any other "ist" you want to apply. I'm just allergic to schmucks and stupid. That's it: schmucks and stupid. Oh! And if you're of fundamental religious faith? You shouldn't stick around. I'm not really a fan of army-breeding, zombie brigades with complimentary faith symbols of eternal suffering and repentance.

Bottom Line: Don't be a dick. If you're a dick, then Fuck You.

So, now that we got that out of the way: Let the games and flames begin!