Danger, Will Robinson: Waterproof Mini Metal Review

I was in the middle of writing a review for the Lia G Kiss (not a bad toy) when I received this bullet in the mail. Now, I understand that cheap toys are not going to work like a luxury toy for a hundred dollars. However, I still expect some basic functionality and the lack of danger. I reference danger because this bullet can be a fire. electrical, and chemical hazard.

The bullet looks harmless enough. Even though it's called the Mini Metal the bullet is actually made of plastic. The one in red gives off a funky Christmas vibe. While you can't see it in the picture, the cord at the top is long enough to be worn as a necklace. If you can rock a bullet vibrator as a necklace without being caught, then rock on.

The black top can be twisted off to put the batteries inside. The bullet takes four watch batteries. The good news is that the toy comes with 8 watch batteries. Each set of four is packed in a plastic sleeve. 

NEVER put the batteries in without the sleeve. The toy can and will short circuit. The plastic sleeve is supposed to prevent short circuits. However, the plastic sleeve doesn't fully cover the batteries, so you can still get shorts even if you follow all the instructions.

If the toy heats up, it will get HOT. My partner burnt his finger removing the batteries from the bullet. It was a very small and mild burn, but bullets should not do that. The toy was also in the off position when it began to heat up. After my partner removed the offending batteries he looked at the toy and said, "get rid of it." He showed me how a short circuit was being created. With battery operated toys you will see a small bit of metal at the top of the batter cage. I would have shown it on the Mini Metal, but I threw it out in haste after my partner was literally burned. Here's a picture of another battery operated toy so you can see the part I'm talking about:

This metal part (called an electrode) extends partially down into the battery cage. The sides of the batteries came in contact with this metal in the battery cage. In other toys it's not as much of an issue because AA and AAA batteries have coatings on them that prevent them from releasing their energy anywhere but their poles. This is not the case with watch batteries. The plastic sleeve did not cover the sides well enough to keep electricity from only coming out of the poles. This is the cause for the heat and danger.

My toy was probably not an exception. Both plastic sleeves exposed the sides of the batteries. The dimensions of the battery cage make shorts very possible. It has poor construction. Also, it was a cheap vibrator made in China. While not trying to spread paranoia, I am concerned at the materials and methods used in making this product. The instructions were in broken English. 

While I would normally include more detail about a product, I feel there is no need here. It is a hazard to own. You should not have to worry about burning your Hoo-Ha with a vibrator. Or starting a fire. It is not safe to own or use. You can spend a few dollars more to get a better vibrator.

Bare Bones: Can easily short circuit, generate heat, and possibly cause a fire. If you get it to work (barely): one buzzy setting with a strength of 2-3 out of five, enough noise to be heard through a door. Not worth it. Don't buy.