Review: Lia G Kiss

For some reason, I always end up buying those "ugly duckling" toys. You know the kind. They are a funky shape. So funky that you wonder how it was ever really thought up. The Lia G Kiss is no exception. Made by California Exotics, it looks like a ninja turtle with a helmet on it or a post-apocalyptic worm. The top where the "helmet" is allows for a good thumb rest, though. The pointed front of the helmet allows for some pinpoint stimulation.

The shape, however, comes at a cost. The Lia G Kiss is not as versatile with its shape. Some would not consider inserting it. While the curvature allows for G-spot stimulation, some users are more sensitive to texture than other. The first to inches of the toy have some flexiblity, but it won't help that much if you are sensitive.

Still, it can be used externally on the clitoris. The toy is long enough for easy handling. You can apply force when using it and the vibrations won't diffuse like it does with some other toys.

The Lia G Kiss is on the smaller end for toys. It is 6 inches long and 4 inches of it are insertable. The widest part of the head has a diameter of 1 inch. Compared to most toys it falls on the smaller end. While an ugly duckling, it is not intimidating in appearance or dimension. 

Logistics

The Lia G Kiss has 2 buttons located on the base. The bottom button is for power. The top button allows you to switch between the patterns. Turning the toy on starts it at its lowest standard vibration. If you pass your favorite vibration you will have to either cycle through the rest of the settings or turn the toy off and then start again. The modes are as follows:

1. Low standard vibration

2. Medium standard vibration

3. High standard vibrations

4. Short, revving pulses

5. Continuous fast, short pulses

6. Longer pulses

7. Fast, back-and-forth pulses

8. Lower strength pulses

9. Very punctuated pulses

10. Roller-coaster

The vibrations are more buzzy than rumbling. It can numb hands and skin after extended use. The toy is not super strong or weak. It's a medium 3 out of 5 for strength. It's a 2 out of 5 for sound. You can use it in the shower or bath since it is waterproof. It operates on one AA battery and does not eat batteries like mad.  

Cleaning can be a pain. Use your nail or a toothbrush to get in the grooves of the textures. Soap and water is the easiest method for cleaning. It takes less time to clean if the toy is used externally. Make sure silicone toys don't touch when in storage or it's possible the coatings will be damaged. Always remove the battery when storing for long periods of time or traveling.

Personal Comments

Would I recommend to a friend? While I wouldn't adamantly protest the G Kiss, I would recommend other toys like the Picobong Ako or the Dream Massager G. It is not a bad toy, per say, but there is better out there. There are stronger and less buzzy options out there. Those who need deep vibrations or particularly strong ones should look elsewhere. Those who like to collect funky toys that don't completely suck might want it for the visual appeal (or lack there of).

Did it work for me? Not really. It was more of a tease than anything. It would never be a star vibrator for me. It is too buzzy and needs just a dab more power. The cleaning aspect also sucks.

Bare Bones

The Lia G Kiss is a good value given its price. Its texture is the main drawback making it both difficult to clean and uncomfortable for some to insert. It is a solid external toy and has the strength of a 3 out of 5 when comparing other vibrators of its class. It is buzzy. Solid materials and construction, but better options available. 

Grade: B-/C+

Oh, Mister Perry

And I say Mister Perry because the man doesn't act like a Governor. Or, at least, how a Governor should act.

You would think that Mister Perry could have bowed gracefully out of his whole debacle with SB5. Instead, he couldn't even manage to keep from spewing misogynistic language. When asked about Senator Wendy Davis, the woman who filibustered the bill that would have closed down 37 out of 42 abortion clinics in Texas, he could not  simply acknowledge her determination. He couldn't even refrain from comment. Instead he said:

"Even the woman who filibustered the Senate the other day was born into difficult circumstances. She was the daughter of a single woman, she was a teenage mother herself. She managed to eventually graduate from Harvard Law School and serve in the Texas senate. It is just unfortunate that she hasn’t learned from her own example that every life must be given a chance to realize its full potential and that every life matters."

I don't understand what "moral" high ground Perry can stand from. I don't see how he finds it fitting or appropriate to make such remarks toward Senator Davis.  I wonder what he would have said to Davis if she was a man.

Danger, Will Robinson: Waterproof Mini Metal Review

I was in the middle of writing a review for the Lia G Kiss (not a bad toy) when I received this bullet in the mail. Now, I understand that cheap toys are not going to work like a luxury toy for a hundred dollars. However, I still expect some basic functionality and the lack of danger. I reference danger because this bullet can be a fire. electrical, and chemical hazard.

The bullet looks harmless enough. Even though it's called the Mini Metal the bullet is actually made of plastic. The one in red gives off a funky Christmas vibe. While you can't see it in the picture, the cord at the top is long enough to be worn as a necklace. If you can rock a bullet vibrator as a necklace without being caught, then rock on.

The black top can be twisted off to put the batteries inside. The bullet takes four watch batteries. The good news is that the toy comes with 8 watch batteries. Each set of four is packed in a plastic sleeve. 

NEVER put the batteries in without the sleeve. The toy can and will short circuit. The plastic sleeve is supposed to prevent short circuits. However, the plastic sleeve doesn't fully cover the batteries, so you can still get shorts even if you follow all the instructions.

If the toy heats up, it will get HOT. My partner burnt his finger removing the batteries from the bullet. It was a very small and mild burn, but bullets should not do that. The toy was also in the off position when it began to heat up. After my partner removed the offending batteries he looked at the toy and said, "get rid of it." He showed me how a short circuit was being created. With battery operated toys you will see a small bit of metal at the top of the batter cage. I would have shown it on the Mini Metal, but I threw it out in haste after my partner was literally burned. Here's a picture of another battery operated toy so you can see the part I'm talking about:

This metal part (called an electrode) extends partially down into the battery cage. The sides of the batteries came in contact with this metal in the battery cage. In other toys it's not as much of an issue because AA and AAA batteries have coatings on them that prevent them from releasing their energy anywhere but their poles. This is not the case with watch batteries. The plastic sleeve did not cover the sides well enough to keep electricity from only coming out of the poles. This is the cause for the heat and danger.

My toy was probably not an exception. Both plastic sleeves exposed the sides of the batteries. The dimensions of the battery cage make shorts very possible. It has poor construction. Also, it was a cheap vibrator made in China. While not trying to spread paranoia, I am concerned at the materials and methods used in making this product. The instructions were in broken English. 

While I would normally include more detail about a product, I feel there is no need here. It is a hazard to own. You should not have to worry about burning your Hoo-Ha with a vibrator. Or starting a fire. It is not safe to own or use. You can spend a few dollars more to get a better vibrator.

Bare Bones: Can easily short circuit, generate heat, and possibly cause a fire. If you get it to work (barely): one buzzy setting with a strength of 2-3 out of five, enough noise to be heard through a door. Not worth it. Don't buy.

So, you want to be an Art Model?

I've had a few people inquiring about my job as an art model. Because of that, I decided to put some info about how to be an art model, what you can expect (in most situations) and some general advice while being one. This info will focus on modeling for a college or university. If anyone want info on private modeling, I can add that as well.

What are the requirements? Do I have to be a certain body type, etc?

 

An unfinished portrait from one of the first classes I modeled

When starting? Not that much. You need to be easy to contact. This can score you extra modeling sessions and extra cash when another model bails. You'll need to be comfortable with folks seeing you naked. Trust me, it may sound very anxiety ridden, but the nerves go away after a while. 

Every professor, instructor, or artist has a different personality and it helps you to remember what they like in their art. Overall, relax, be friendly, and be available. Also, bringing a book on your down time is always a plus.

A lot of people ask how pretty or gorgeous they have to be to model. In my experience, being interesting to look at and draw is a better quality to have than just being "pretty." Again, everyone has preferences. Many instructors don't care who the models are as long as they can hold a pose and are easy to work with. I've noticed that some prefer thinner models to see bone structures. I've had others prefer curvier women for the, well, curves.  If you're pregnant, then you can bank (compared to other models). Pregnant models are harder to find and thus more interesting to draw for some teachers. You can be any gender, young or old. However, youth can help in holding modeling positions.

Okay, I want to give this a chance. What now?

I'd recommend the art departments at colleges near you. Colleges may or may not offer reliable work, but they are professional, easy to contact, and great for beginners. If you are a good model, a professor may request your modeling for private sessions or in other situations (either way, if you're not comfortable, don't do it). Each college may have different requirements and job portals, but one of the ways to start is to get a hold of the art department. Make sure they have figure drawing, then call the department to ask who the model coordinator is. The model coordinator is your best friend. He/She will schedule your modeling sessions, approve your payroll, and be your source of information. Establishing a good relationship with the coordinator can earn you more hours as well.

So... the naked part? How does that work?

I had this question, so I'll answer it in case anyone is curious. You do not get naked for your interview. Your model coordinator will probably never see you naked. The professors and students do. When you go in you should have the following in a backpack: book and/or computer, hairbrush, hair ties, deodorant,  a robe, a pair of sandals or flip flops and possibly a water bottle and snack. You will not be naked the entire time you model. Depending on your position, you will be still from 10 seconds to 45 minutes. The average is around 15 - 25 minutes. On the off times, you will be robed. You will get breaks between poses. Take that time to stretch muscles, drink some water, eat, or walk around and admire the drawings the students are making.

What else should I know?

Students are very respectful. You are a figure to draw. They will be focused on their art. I've only experienced a couple of rude people during my couple of years of modeling. If you are female, you may notice that the males in the class might be shy. Some art students feel awkward when talking to the model. It's funny considering you're the naked one.

Oh, this is a big one: DON'T BE STUBBORN. You might think you can hold that pose for 20 or 30 minutes, but be careful. You need to learn how to stand/position yourself. You can block blood flow to your brain and pass out. Stop if you feel light headed, numbness, or see your vision narrowing. A professor much rather you know your limits than have you pass out on the floor. 

Above all, be polite, open, and... well, normal. If you're okay with being naked (or just trying it out), it can be very freeing. You will feel better about your body and more comfortable in your skin. Just don't take some of the drawings literally. An artist will draw you but with their style. So you will not look 100% you, even with the greatest skill. And a lot of the time you're going to look pretty funky, especially in those beginners classes.

I hope that helped! Feel free to post any questions in the comments!

Don't Look! Don't Look!

So, while pondering all the events happening with a certain online retailer, I imagined how toys would have to... succumb to the rules of 15 percent. Maybe with 15 percent points you get 15 percent of a toy? But all toys are finished as whole (one would hope). So how would it be managed, I wonder?

Well, I got out some of my sex toys and I felt like a little girl playing with dolls again. I settled on this little gem. I have never really used Photoshop, but I'm pretty proud of my little humor comic/pic.

So... what do you think?

Oooof! Sex toys and Geico and Twitter, Oh my!

I don't know how you guys do it.

This twitter and blogging thing can be intense! I will admit, though, I'm having a blast. I'm guessing it's a crazy show right now because of all the EF madness? While EF deserves to crash and burn in a pit of flames, it's kind of sad to see such potential turn so ugly, no?  The awesome thing is that people are banning together. The community will stand, just not over there anymore. Besides, why stay somewhere where you were a censored, Care Bear robot.

Well, there's nothing left to do but watch the show and see how it goes. Oh, that and talking about all the shitty business practices and behavior. Everyone got their popcorn?

My Blog is... REVIVED!

Hi guys,

After being... "inspired" to make a blog about health, sex, awareness, and drabbles, I kind of forgot I had this one. So I did a bit of recycling and we have... The Pink Elephant. You may know me from my presence on a certain forum as the Username Mwar. I kind of miss my little colorful brain avatar, but maybe it'll return soon enough. So, as you can see, my blog is under maintenance and work. I eventually plan nabbing my own domain. While I work on that (I insist on doing my own code and am a bit of a perfectionist), I'll be here on Blogger. 

 

Also: you may have noticed I have posts unrelated to sex and sex toys. I get mad at pseudoscience and when people's rights or access to information on restricted (it's not limited to that, though). The tone of my ranting posts are a bit... harsher if you're used to my personality on some other forums. I don't have to be politically correct, toned down, or hushed anymore. It'll be great to get my story finally out there.

To break up this drabble, here's a picture of my darling Corgi as a puppy!

That's it for now! Please feel free to offer suggestions or shoot me an e-mail if you'd like to chat. I'd like to stay connected to people I've met on other sites. I'm going to post more in a bit, especially my story about a certain online retailer. 

Edit: My pup is a Pembroke Welsh Corgi. He's no longer a pup, but the pet is always the baby, right? He's 8 now.