Review: Lia G Kiss

For some reason, I always end up buying those "ugly duckling" toys. You know the kind. They are a funky shape. So funky that you wonder how it was ever really thought up. The Lia G Kiss is no exception. Made by California Exotics, it looks like a ninja turtle with a helmet on it or a post-apocalyptic worm. The top where the "helmet" is allows for a good thumb rest, though. The pointed front of the helmet allows for some pinpoint stimulation.

The shape, however, comes at a cost. The Lia G Kiss is not as versatile with its shape. Some would not consider inserting it. While the curvature allows for G-spot stimulation, some users are more sensitive to texture than other. The first to inches of the toy have some flexiblity, but it won't help that much if you are sensitive.

Still, it can be used externally on the clitoris. The toy is long enough for easy handling. You can apply force when using it and the vibrations won't diffuse like it does with some other toys.

The Lia G Kiss is on the smaller end for toys. It is 6 inches long and 4 inches of it are insertable. The widest part of the head has a diameter of 1 inch. Compared to most toys it falls on the smaller end. While an ugly duckling, it is not intimidating in appearance or dimension. 

Logistics

The Lia G Kiss has 2 buttons located on the base. The bottom button is for power. The top button allows you to switch between the patterns. Turning the toy on starts it at its lowest standard vibration. If you pass your favorite vibration you will have to either cycle through the rest of the settings or turn the toy off and then start again. The modes are as follows:

1. Low standard vibration

2. Medium standard vibration

3. High standard vibrations

4. Short, revving pulses

5. Continuous fast, short pulses

6. Longer pulses

7. Fast, back-and-forth pulses

8. Lower strength pulses

9. Very punctuated pulses

10. Roller-coaster

The vibrations are more buzzy than rumbling. It can numb hands and skin after extended use. The toy is not super strong or weak. It's a medium 3 out of 5 for strength. It's a 2 out of 5 for sound. You can use it in the shower or bath since it is waterproof. It operates on one AA battery and does not eat batteries like mad.  

Cleaning can be a pain. Use your nail or a toothbrush to get in the grooves of the textures. Soap and water is the easiest method for cleaning. It takes less time to clean if the toy is used externally. Make sure silicone toys don't touch when in storage or it's possible the coatings will be damaged. Always remove the battery when storing for long periods of time or traveling.

Personal Comments

Would I recommend to a friend? While I wouldn't adamantly protest the G Kiss, I would recommend other toys like the Picobong Ako or the Dream Massager G. It is not a bad toy, per say, but there is better out there. There are stronger and less buzzy options out there. Those who need deep vibrations or particularly strong ones should look elsewhere. Those who like to collect funky toys that don't completely suck might want it for the visual appeal (or lack there of).

Did it work for me? Not really. It was more of a tease than anything. It would never be a star vibrator for me. It is too buzzy and needs just a dab more power. The cleaning aspect also sucks.

Bare Bones

The Lia G Kiss is a good value given its price. Its texture is the main drawback making it both difficult to clean and uncomfortable for some to insert. It is a solid external toy and has the strength of a 3 out of 5 when comparing other vibrators of its class. It is buzzy. Solid materials and construction, but better options available. 

Grade: B-/C+

Oh, Mister Perry

And I say Mister Perry because the man doesn't act like a Governor. Or, at least, how a Governor should act.

You would think that Mister Perry could have bowed gracefully out of his whole debacle with SB5. Instead, he couldn't even manage to keep from spewing misogynistic language. When asked about Senator Wendy Davis, the woman who filibustered the bill that would have closed down 37 out of 42 abortion clinics in Texas, he could not  simply acknowledge her determination. He couldn't even refrain from comment. Instead he said:

"Even the woman who filibustered the Senate the other day was born into difficult circumstances. She was the daughter of a single woman, she was a teenage mother herself. She managed to eventually graduate from Harvard Law School and serve in the Texas senate. It is just unfortunate that she hasn’t learned from her own example that every life must be given a chance to realize its full potential and that every life matters."

I don't understand what "moral" high ground Perry can stand from. I don't see how he finds it fitting or appropriate to make such remarks toward Senator Davis.  I wonder what he would have said to Davis if she was a man.

Danger, Will Robinson: Waterproof Mini Metal Review

I was in the middle of writing a review for the Lia G Kiss (not a bad toy) when I received this bullet in the mail. Now, I understand that cheap toys are not going to work like a luxury toy for a hundred dollars. However, I still expect some basic functionality and the lack of danger. I reference danger because this bullet can be a fire. electrical, and chemical hazard.

The bullet looks harmless enough. Even though it's called the Mini Metal the bullet is actually made of plastic. The one in red gives off a funky Christmas vibe. While you can't see it in the picture, the cord at the top is long enough to be worn as a necklace. If you can rock a bullet vibrator as a necklace without being caught, then rock on.

The black top can be twisted off to put the batteries inside. The bullet takes four watch batteries. The good news is that the toy comes with 8 watch batteries. Each set of four is packed in a plastic sleeve. 

NEVER put the batteries in without the sleeve. The toy can and will short circuit. The plastic sleeve is supposed to prevent short circuits. However, the plastic sleeve doesn't fully cover the batteries, so you can still get shorts even if you follow all the instructions.

If the toy heats up, it will get HOT. My partner burnt his finger removing the batteries from the bullet. It was a very small and mild burn, but bullets should not do that. The toy was also in the off position when it began to heat up. After my partner removed the offending batteries he looked at the toy and said, "get rid of it." He showed me how a short circuit was being created. With battery operated toys you will see a small bit of metal at the top of the batter cage. I would have shown it on the Mini Metal, but I threw it out in haste after my partner was literally burned. Here's a picture of another battery operated toy so you can see the part I'm talking about:

This metal part (called an electrode) extends partially down into the battery cage. The sides of the batteries came in contact with this metal in the battery cage. In other toys it's not as much of an issue because AA and AAA batteries have coatings on them that prevent them from releasing their energy anywhere but their poles. This is not the case with watch batteries. The plastic sleeve did not cover the sides well enough to keep electricity from only coming out of the poles. This is the cause for the heat and danger.

My toy was probably not an exception. Both plastic sleeves exposed the sides of the batteries. The dimensions of the battery cage make shorts very possible. It has poor construction. Also, it was a cheap vibrator made in China. While not trying to spread paranoia, I am concerned at the materials and methods used in making this product. The instructions were in broken English. 

While I would normally include more detail about a product, I feel there is no need here. It is a hazard to own. You should not have to worry about burning your Hoo-Ha with a vibrator. Or starting a fire. It is not safe to own or use. You can spend a few dollars more to get a better vibrator.

Bare Bones: Can easily short circuit, generate heat, and possibly cause a fire. If you get it to work (barely): one buzzy setting with a strength of 2-3 out of five, enough noise to be heard through a door. Not worth it. Don't buy.

So, you want to be an Art Model?

I've had a few people inquiring about my job as an art model. Because of that, I decided to put some info about how to be an art model, what you can expect (in most situations) and some general advice while being one. This info will focus on modeling for a college or university. If anyone want info on private modeling, I can add that as well.

What are the requirements? Do I have to be a certain body type, etc?

 

An unfinished portrait from one of the first classes I modeled

When starting? Not that much. You need to be easy to contact. This can score you extra modeling sessions and extra cash when another model bails. You'll need to be comfortable with folks seeing you naked. Trust me, it may sound very anxiety ridden, but the nerves go away after a while. 

Every professor, instructor, or artist has a different personality and it helps you to remember what they like in their art. Overall, relax, be friendly, and be available. Also, bringing a book on your down time is always a plus.

A lot of people ask how pretty or gorgeous they have to be to model. In my experience, being interesting to look at and draw is a better quality to have than just being "pretty." Again, everyone has preferences. Many instructors don't care who the models are as long as they can hold a pose and are easy to work with. I've noticed that some prefer thinner models to see bone structures. I've had others prefer curvier women for the, well, curves.  If you're pregnant, then you can bank (compared to other models). Pregnant models are harder to find and thus more interesting to draw for some teachers. You can be any gender, young or old. However, youth can help in holding modeling positions.

Okay, I want to give this a chance. What now?

I'd recommend the art departments at colleges near you. Colleges may or may not offer reliable work, but they are professional, easy to contact, and great for beginners. If you are a good model, a professor may request your modeling for private sessions or in other situations (either way, if you're not comfortable, don't do it). Each college may have different requirements and job portals, but one of the ways to start is to get a hold of the art department. Make sure they have figure drawing, then call the department to ask who the model coordinator is. The model coordinator is your best friend. He/She will schedule your modeling sessions, approve your payroll, and be your source of information. Establishing a good relationship with the coordinator can earn you more hours as well.

So... the naked part? How does that work?

I had this question, so I'll answer it in case anyone is curious. You do not get naked for your interview. Your model coordinator will probably never see you naked. The professors and students do. When you go in you should have the following in a backpack: book and/or computer, hairbrush, hair ties, deodorant,  a robe, a pair of sandals or flip flops and possibly a water bottle and snack. You will not be naked the entire time you model. Depending on your position, you will be still from 10 seconds to 45 minutes. The average is around 15 - 25 minutes. On the off times, you will be robed. You will get breaks between poses. Take that time to stretch muscles, drink some water, eat, or walk around and admire the drawings the students are making.

What else should I know?

Students are very respectful. You are a figure to draw. They will be focused on their art. I've only experienced a couple of rude people during my couple of years of modeling. If you are female, you may notice that the males in the class might be shy. Some art students feel awkward when talking to the model. It's funny considering you're the naked one.

Oh, this is a big one: DON'T BE STUBBORN. You might think you can hold that pose for 20 or 30 minutes, but be careful. You need to learn how to stand/position yourself. You can block blood flow to your brain and pass out. Stop if you feel light headed, numbness, or see your vision narrowing. A professor much rather you know your limits than have you pass out on the floor. 

Above all, be polite, open, and... well, normal. If you're okay with being naked (or just trying it out), it can be very freeing. You will feel better about your body and more comfortable in your skin. Just don't take some of the drawings literally. An artist will draw you but with their style. So you will not look 100% you, even with the greatest skill. And a lot of the time you're going to look pretty funky, especially in those beginners classes.

I hope that helped! Feel free to post any questions in the comments!

Don't Look! Don't Look!

So, while pondering all the events happening with a certain online retailer, I imagined how toys would have to... succumb to the rules of 15 percent. Maybe with 15 percent points you get 15 percent of a toy? But all toys are finished as whole (one would hope). So how would it be managed, I wonder?

Well, I got out some of my sex toys and I felt like a little girl playing with dolls again. I settled on this little gem. I have never really used Photoshop, but I'm pretty proud of my little humor comic/pic.

So... what do you think?

Oooof! Sex toys and Geico and Twitter, Oh my!

I don't know how you guys do it.

This twitter and blogging thing can be intense! I will admit, though, I'm having a blast. I'm guessing it's a crazy show right now because of all the EF madness? While EF deserves to crash and burn in a pit of flames, it's kind of sad to see such potential turn so ugly, no?  The awesome thing is that people are banning together. The community will stand, just not over there anymore. Besides, why stay somewhere where you were a censored, Care Bear robot.

Well, there's nothing left to do but watch the show and see how it goes. Oh, that and talking about all the shitty business practices and behavior. Everyone got their popcorn?

My Blog is... REVIVED!

Hi guys,

After being... "inspired" to make a blog about health, sex, awareness, and drabbles, I kind of forgot I had this one. So I did a bit of recycling and we have... The Pink Elephant. You may know me from my presence on a certain forum as the Username Mwar. I kind of miss my little colorful brain avatar, but maybe it'll return soon enough. So, as you can see, my blog is under maintenance and work. I eventually plan nabbing my own domain. While I work on that (I insist on doing my own code and am a bit of a perfectionist), I'll be here on Blogger. 

 

Also: you may have noticed I have posts unrelated to sex and sex toys. I get mad at pseudoscience and when people's rights or access to information on restricted (it's not limited to that, though). The tone of my ranting posts are a bit... harsher if you're used to my personality on some other forums. I don't have to be politically correct, toned down, or hushed anymore. It'll be great to get my story finally out there.

To break up this drabble, here's a picture of my darling Corgi as a puppy!

That's it for now! Please feel free to offer suggestions or shoot me an e-mail if you'd like to chat. I'd like to stay connected to people I've met on other sites. I'm going to post more in a bit, especially my story about a certain online retailer. 

Edit: My pup is a Pembroke Welsh Corgi. He's no longer a pup, but the pet is always the baby, right? He's 8 now.

Crazy Creation "Science" Taught to Kids

Okay... so we know I'm not a super fan of religion. Being spiritual and having a personal relationship with some deity you admire is one thing. But it's another when you decide to try and force it down my throat. So, I suppose my major gripe is with big, organized religion.

And "scientific" apologetics.

If you're not familiar, some christian faiths have what's called apologetics. If you're too lazy to click the link, apologetics is a part of christian theology that tries to find rational, logical, and scientific basis to prove the bible. There are many forms of apologetics, and the one that makes any person who loves math or science twinge is scientific apologetics. 

Scientific apologetics is the belief that the bible and science do not conflict. It also tends to assert that science supports the bible. However, the more you look at science apologetic sites, like this and this, the less it looks like real science. These groups are not really conducting experiments or simply observing the world. These groups are acting more like a high school English class. They want to make their point so bad that they pull our two or the incidents in the course of human history (and more) to perhaps maybe support their point. There's a difference between conducting research and fitting the data, and I don't think they get it.

Oh, and here's some interesting things up for contention in the christian world. 

Old Earth vs. New Earth Creationism

Evolution vs. Just mircoevolution vs. Just macroevolution vs. No evolution

Dinosaurs vs. No dinosaurs vs. Gay Dinosaurs vs. Co-existing Dinosaurs

That's to name a few.

But that doesn't bother me as much as the fact that this kind of information is published in textbooks and shoved down the throats of children. I'll leave you with some examples of that. 

Gentlemen... Lick Your Ladies

Now, if you're of a different sexual orientation, you can read this and chuckle. If you're a lady, get your man to read this. And if you're a man who loves vagina, take notes. Of course, I don't know the entire age spread of men who perform cunnilingus on their partners. However, I am either seeing a horrible trend or I'm just around a lot of selfish, obnoxious men. I'll put it simply.

Men: go down on your ladies.

Of course, communication is also important. Express that you want to do this, that you desire it. She may have some reservations. Maybe she had a guy who didn't want to go down there or thought it was "gross." You may even be brave and try to slide down there yourself. But alas, she pulls you back up. What's a guy to do? If you're lady is apprehensive of you exploring, you might want to consider some things:

Ugly Pussy Syndrome

A lot of ladies (again not all, but enough to make note of it), somehow think their bits are ugly or weird. It doesn't help if some asshole back in her prom days told her that either. It's going to take some convincing, and maybe you have to arouse her like made before hand, before she'll let you explore down there. It can be overcome, it'll just take time.

Who wouldn't help this puss?

Bad Experiences

I've been saying this already, but let's say she let a guy go down there. And he did something stupid that nightmares her for all future men. I'm going to give you a shot list of things not to do when performing oral on a woman. Of course, all women are different, but this guide will keep you on the safe side of things.

Do Not

1. Bite or pinch the Clitoris
2. Rub it with dry, rough fingers
3. Rub it hard. It's not a penis, folks.
4. Lather it with spit like a dog. A little is fine, but too much will feel like a damn mess.
5. If she's responding to what you're doing - keep doing it. Men have this habit to change things up. No, if she likes it, keep doing it. Women rely on consistent stimulation and maybe a boost of it towards the end. 
6. Put too much pressure on the pubic bones (it can hurt since it is a sharper bone)
7. Put a finger up her anus unless explicitly stated beforehand

Do

1. Listen to what she likes
2. Lick. Lick around the clitoris. Or dead on it. She'll let you know. 
3. Gently suck on it
4. Put a couple of fingers in her vagina at the same time
5. Rub her other erogenous zones
6. Communicate Communicate Communicate 
7. Take your time

Bottom line? Rev your tongues, gentlemen! 

The Three Sins of Abstinence only Sex Ed

Ah... abstinence only sex ed. Some of you may have had it. Some of you may have had more comprehensive sex ed. Others might have had a very conservative course, a religiously themed course, or anything in between. Regardless, there is a wide spectrum of material you may or may not have learned. And in this inconsistency is an issue.

The U.S. is up in the air regarding sex education, especially in their laws. Each state has different laws and regulations regarding the subjects and treatment of all topics sexual. However, there tends to be a trend: more conservative states tend to have more abstinence only education and have a higher chance of having a secular education. In the heat of this, we have two camps: those who want comprehensive sexual education that includes abstinence but other forms of contraception, and those who want abstinence only education with little to no mentions of contraception. 

Where does that leave us, and more importantly, our youth? 

Many are left uninformed or even misinformed. It's one (still horrible) thing to leave a teenager in the dark, but it's another to use scare tactics to make them obey you. Other tactics can bruise a woman's self esteem and objectify them as just a vagina. And less noted, but still true: abstinence only education can dehumanize males and treat them like they have no control over their desires.

Some Blatant Lies Told to Youth In Some Abstinence Only Programs

• Gay sex will give you AIDS. 
• HIV will leak through the pores of condoms (no, not just sheepskin, latex too)
• Birth control pills don't work
• Birth control pills are bad for women

This is just a sample of medically and scientifically incorrect 'facts' told in some sex ed classrooms. Maybe that is the reason various medical and scientific groups are opposed to abstinence only sex ed. Let's not forget lying by omission either. One common example is that males only see the male anatomy and females only see female anatomy in some sex ed programs. This could be contributing to the myth that women pee out of their vaginas. 

In other abstinence programs there is a deliberate omission of the clitoris as well. These are just some of the misinformations out there with these programs, but many go deeper and try to use psychological means to control youngsters.

Women are Just Vaginas

Women are often objectified by their vaginas. Ever been a part of the "simulation" of what it is like to have sex before marriage? I have. There are many versions out there, but they tend to have the same idea. Every time you have sex, you lose some of yourself or your worth. Oddly enough, we were given pieces of candy. And every time we "had sex," we had to give away our candy. Only the girls held the candies by the way. 

Many of these exercises say women are just used for sex and once they have sex, they have nothing left or are worthless. Brains don't matter. Career, athleticism, or ambitions don't matter. The number of time you have sex determines your worth in these exercises. It sets women back, and it doesn't help that many of these programs accept a male's "devious" behavior. 

Men are Just Sex Fiends who have no Control

If you have a vagina, you may have been told that is was something to protect and cherish from the machinations of men. Men only want one thing at that age: sex, and they will do anything to get it. That is not limited to lying and manipulations. While there are sleazy guys like this, not all men are crazed, out of control sex fiends. 

However, telling them they are and can't help it make it a self fulfilling prophecy. Telling boys they have no control over their urges can just give them an excuse to behave in such ways. A boy may even generally care for his sweetheart, but because we are trained they are evil, we have to be wary. And because sex is made so taboo and forbidden, it makes them want it even more. 

These are just 3 of the major flaws of this form of sex-ed. I'll break down the stats on pregnancy and STD rates by state, as well as other stats, on a follow up post. 

People are too Damn Soft

People get offended too damn easily. And for the silliest of things. You think that there is nothing more to their life than screwing everyone else over with political correctness. Quite frankly, I think people are spending too much time on social media or in front of a screen and are not spending enough time having face-to-face communication.

In general, certain age groups spend more time on Facebook than they do out with friends. Yeah, I know not everyone's social, but this is getting out of hand. Especially when people want to get offended for the silliest things and forget something called context.

There's a difference between:

• Being a dick intentionally
• Being rough around the edges

          And Finally...

• Being a Pussy

The odds are NOT in your favor when trying to communicate certain topics with fellow humans. Hitting that sweet spot of not offending people is a constantly shrinking line.  And there really is a line between trying to say what you mean without backlash and stroking someone's dick. When did we get so "soft?" George Carlin (a brilliant man and comedian) has a great skit on children and people being soft. Check out the link in the caption.

A Man Who Could Say It as Is

He may have been "just a comedian," but the guy had a point. Our language is softening and we are as a result of it. And there is plenty of evidence that our language shapes our thoughts. There are a host of experiments showing that language changes our behavior. It is working, this much is true. 

People need a thicker skin. If not to be saved by their politically correct misadventures, but to actually function in this world. The world can be a cruel place and it's almost a crime to leave a child unprepared for it. Call me a hardass, but at least my kid won't be the one getting his lunch money stolen everyday. And no, he won't be the one taking it. If anything, he or she will have enough backbone and sense of morality to speak up on it instead.

Hands off the Kiddies, Please

In case you've been under a rock, Missouri has passed a "right to pray" bill. It passed by an overhwhelming majority. The details are here, but basically it restates that school children can pray and acknowledge god. This event is just one of many regarding schools and religion. You may have heard of Jessica Alquist, a student in Texas who petitioned a pray banner to be removed from her high school. Or of the bill that bassed that allows public dollars in Louisiana to send children to evolution rejecting, creationists schools.

In a nutshell, it's been a crazy run with schools and religion, primarily Christianity. 

Now, you can believe whatever the hell you want. But there are rules:

• Don't shove it down my throat
• Don't Fuck with other people's freedoms
• Don't force other's children to it

And shockingly, the freedom might be freedom from hearing fundamentalist religion. Sadly, these assholes are forgetting something, like the first amendment. It's not like you have to search hard to find this one. It's the first one. It reads, exactly:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. 

So it does protect religions from being discriminated against. However it also protects people from religion as well. This isn't some obscure text analysis. It's pretty plain black and white. You can have a religion, but it should not be made into law in a school. We also have a little thing called, I don't know, separation of church and state. So technically, the bullshit with Louisiana school vouchers is utterly unconstitutional. Yeah, public money is going into christianity? What if you're jewish, muslim, or something else?

Some people didn't realize that the vouchers could go for other religions. Like the people who voted for it to pass. Rep. Valerie Hodges, was shocked to find out the the vouchers she voted for were also going to fun muslim schools. And what did she have to say?

I actually support funding for teaching the fundamentals of America's Founding Father's religion, which is christianity, in public schools, or private schools.

There's lost of, well, bullshit in that sentence. In fact, it should get a reward for most bullshit/fewest words category. You know, since the founding fathers strived for separation of church and state and the fact many of them were not christian in the way many think it. There's a lot of propaganda on that one. But the truth lies in actual writings of many of the Fathers. And there's also The Faiths of the Founding Fathers which treats the subject very well, in my opinion.

Either way, this is insane. And when parents and law makers aren't illegally putting religion in school, they're homeschooling religion. Again, it's your right to teach religion. But there's a difference between teaching religion and outright disregard for well tested information in science. Like this. Blatant disregard for science and critical thinking like this is why the dark ages happened.

Again. You can believe what you want. However, you need to accept science. If you want to think a creator mad the Big Bang, or somehow jumpstarted the history of the world, that's cool, because we don't know what happened that long ago. If you believe people cozied with dinosaurs, bones are here to test us, and evolution is bullshit, well, that's fine too.

But don't dare teach that lack of critical thinking and reasoning to a child, cause then you're an asshole.

Fuck You 5 Hour Energy

Next on my shit list: false advertisement.

Yeah I know, it's everywhere. But there's a difference between a dick head car salesman trying to sell you a lemon and an ad sponsored by Big Corporate that is complete and utter bullshit. I know some people have differing opinions, but I'm going to use a little something called science. Yes, science is going to be used to show the complete bullshit and potential danger of these ads. Today we'll start with one that has gotten quite a rise out of me

5 Hour Energy - Doctor Approval Ad

5 Hour energy is attempting to (and is) taking a big share in the energy drink market. With consumers looking to avoid things like sugar, calories, taurine, and guarana, 5 Hour energy looks almost like a godsend. It's 4 calories. True. And it's not high in sugar. Also true. And that's where the realisms ends in these ads. Here's on that drives me up the fucking wall.

I left the link for the ad on the picture to your right. Now, I could go on ad on about this insanity. So I'll try to be brief, yet brutal. Note: when you go the 5 hour Energy's youtube page and this video, you'll see a majority of dislikes.

You'll also see that comments are disabled. Hmm... I wonder why (so intelligent people can't tell others about the bullshit). Basically, this ad says that 73 percent of doctors recommend this drink to their healthy patients if they are consuming energy drinks.

It also praises the continual, habitual use (once a day) of the product. There are a lot of ways to break this crap down. To add to it, this company claims that doctors recommend this stuff. I wonder if they were doctors on their payroll. Or I wonder what questions they asked these doctors exactly. See what this doctor has to say about the drink. 

Again, no energy drinks are good for you. Once in a while won't kill you, but your body can do without it. My problem comes from 5 Hour Energy hiding the potential illness and issues that can come from their product. To start, 5 Hour Energy has 2000 percent of vitamin B6 and over 8000 percent of B12! You don't EVER need that much of a vitamin. Just to show you, here's what vitamin B6 overdose can do. Here's what B12 can do in a high amount (not as severe, according to studies, but still worth noting). In short, B6 overdose can cause nerve damage and conditions, among other things. Having high amounts of unneeded vitamins in your body also can cause strain on the liver and liver issues, especially concerning Niacin, another product that is overused in this product.

There's no magic potion to stay up. There's a price, but you should NOT be throwing these things back every day. I would venture to say that 5 Hour Energy is one of the WORST drinks biologically. A low sugar alternate energy drink may have calories, Taurine, and/or Guarana, but not in obscene amounts. It also won't shoot out your liver, or even worse, your eyes. 

Essentially, 5 hour Energy is encouraging potentially dangerous vitamin overdose. They are using a plea to authority to "prove" their product is superior. Oh, and then they say 6 million or however the fuck many people use it. Yeah, and just because a lot of people use it doesn't mean it's good. More than that many people smoke, but I'm not lighting up a cigarette over here.

Regardless, be aware of the bullshit of advertising. 5 Hour Energy wins as No. 1 on my shit list. 

Horny Old People

Move over Blanche! Everyone probably knows the STD stats on colleges: 1 in 4 people will have an STD at any given time during those four, formative years of higher education. And while people usually calm down during their middle years, there is still a group full of horny, diseased ridden, individuals who will do anything to get their freak on.

Yeah, you got it. Senior citizens. Viagra has become the ultimate wonder drugs, allowing older men to get it up wow their ladies. Rates of STDs such as syphilis and chlamydia have increased in older groups of people. In fact, there are reports that seniors aged 75 and older are getting it on multiple times a week if they can. And here I thought my granny was the only golden girl freak. 

Yeah, gramps is trying to get some lovin'. Photo credit to: day2day on photozap.com

It just seems that older people don't give a fuck. And it makes sense. Especially in old age homes and what not. Really, if you're 80 or 90, who's thinking about putting on a rubber? I can only imagine the liberation women feel when they hit menopause. They no longer have to worry about pregnancy. If they are with a partner, it probably makes for some happy, worry free, kinky sex. Older people probably figure they won't be around much longer, so why not strip down and have that orgy during bingo night?

I look forward to when I hit that age where I don't have to give a fuck anymore. I mean, I don't really now, but I want to give as many fucks as a 90 year old gives. I wanna be that old guy that just let's his schlong fly out in the wind while hunkering about on my walker. That's how many fucks I want to give.

Fucking Jehovah Witnesses

Okay, so the flavor of discontent is JW's today, but I pretty much wave a big middle finger to the entirety of organized religion.

You want to believe something? Fine, your business. And that's exactly how it should be: your business. Don't come knocking on my door. Don't tell me I'm going to hell. And don't tell me that your imaginary man is more important that someone else's imaginary man. Enjoy it, but don't force it on the rest of us.

Now, while I despise all other organized religions, Jehovah Witnesses almost take the cake (wait until my tirade of Jews for Jesus). While many of these religions are cults, JW's are the most socially accepted, cult (I put that because scientology is regarded as a load of bullshit by almost everyone).

I have to be nice the ones that knock upon my chamber door because my family is unfortunately connected to some of these folks. So if I have my say, shit would hit the fan. I would be called an anti-christ possessed by a demon and cause a rift in the group. So I shut up. I've done a hell of a job dodging these people for most of my formative and young adult years. But just hearing them... fucking insane.

Their beliefs can actually fucking kill someone. Or their children. If you're not familiar, JW's will have been going back and forth on the blood issue. There's a whole break down on what some groups say are okay and some say are not. While wiki answers isn't the most reliable source, it does have JW's explaining why they shouldn't have blood. Their opinions vary to some degree, but the main point is simple. JW's refuse blood transfusions, but are okay with IV's, and non-blood transfusions. Some are okay with taking a part of the blood, but not it whole (like plasma would be okay for some people). It gets pretty damn complicated.

Basically, they bend the rules enough until they can sleep at night. I have problems with the one JW stating that blood substitute transfusions are superior. They can potentially have uses, but in the 70 odd years of creating them, none are currently approved by the FDA. There are some potential ones being studied in other countries, but for now your best bet is blood.

Here's the kicker: Watchtower (the head of JW's) are pretty okay with organ transplants. But they have to be drained of blood! No, really, that's the rule. A few decades ago the JW's said organ transplants and other life saving treatments were forbidden and akin to cannibalism. After enough people died, they decided to change their tune a bit. But it's still not enough. The amount of craziness in this principal hurts my brain on so many levels.

If you want to kill yourself and refuse blood, fine. More for me. But it's another thing when you let your child die because of your prehistoric beliefs. And interestingly enough, it's the parent (who is JW) who decides to break the sacred oath and get blood for their children. Sadly, their children are so indoctrinated that they refuse, go to court, and end up being declared "mature minors."

Crazy shit. Also: some groups claim that they need to be pure to get to heaven. As in no blood or organs (Even though Watchtower may have some rules, there are sections within JW that have some interpretations of their own). Quick medical fact: red blood cells, the number 1 component you need for most transfusions, only live a couple of months. Bone marrow makes blood cells, so essentially, you're entirely yourself if you live a few more months. How about that?

Basically, some JW's are fucking crazy. I won't even get into excommunication or other cult practices they indulge in (another 10 posts for me in the future, I guess). 

But yeah... there are some fucking crazy Jehovah Witnesses

I Wanna do Acid

Yeah, you saw it right. And it'll probably be something you see every now and again on here. I want to try acid at least once. I'll have some precautions set up before doing it, (which I'll discuss in a minute) but first I'll give you guys some info on some drugs.

Now, I'm not going to lecture all you alcoholics out there. Sometimes you need that sambuca to keep the edge off. I get it. Just wanted to show you something cool: As a bio nerd, this is the type of shit that gives me a hard on. It's an educational cartoon about how drugs affect your brain. It also has mic tripping out, which is entertaining in itself.

So which one do you look like after that rave, huh?

Now here's the part where I'm supposed to say, "Drugs are bad, mmkay?" but in actuality, only some drugs are really bad. And it's all about perspective.

Don't do heroine, coke, and for fuck's sake, don't touch meth! That shit's made from antifreeze and bleach. That's just two ingredients. Who the hell thought that was smart to put in your body? Here's a list of some of the other crazy crap they put in this stuff. Because of these assholes, I have to sign my life away for some fucking allergy meds. Of course, the U.S. is the number one producer of this concoction. Cause 'Murica: we're good at killing folks in all kinds of ways. Oh, and if your're still retarded and want to do meth, this is how your teeth will look when you take meth. Sexy, ain't it?

Moving on: Heroine and Coke just plain fucking kill you. Heroine blows out your veins, so when the day comes that you need an IV, you're fucked. Cocaine weakens the lining of your heart. Yeah, it eats away on your heart. Both of these guys are bad news. Also, if you ever get injured and you were a junkie, pain meds don't do shit since you went and got tolerant off the strongest opiates on the planet. Morphine, the shit that makes you forget about the pain, won't do anything if you're shooting up.

Okay, so now I told you about some of the shit you should NEVER do. Now we'll get to some fun stuff.

No one in history has died directly from smoking weed. Never. It might have been laced, but you just can't die from normal to high doses of weed. You're memory may be crap, but you'll be okay. As you may know, weed does have benefits. You should get out of the house every once in a while, but weed is fine. And yes, you alchies, drink moderately. I make you guys drinks, so for God's sake, don't stop drinking! But if it makes you mean or stupid, stay away from the bottle. And please, please, please, don't drive. I'll be more than happy to call you a cab.

I didn't mention some drugs yet. You know them. The club drugs. Acid. E. Shrooms. The pill popping stuff. If you're going to do some of these drugs. There are some key rules.

1. Have a good spotter - a sober person committed to watching you do stupid shit and promises not to record it.
2. Be in a good state of mind - a lot about having a bad trip has to do with how you're feeling before you take the drug. Meditate, have a great day, just feel good before hand before deciding to take psychedelics. 
3. Know your source - don't just get any drug. Know where it comes from. A bad pill can sure as hell kill you.
4. DO. NOT. MIX. This is what can turn these drugs deadly. Don't take anything else after you pop that pill. No booze, no weed, no other pills. NOTHING. This is what kills people the most when they take club drugs. That and not having a smart spotter.
5. Start small. Take the smallest available dose. Trust me, unless you're a hard core user, the smallest dose will have you flying. 
6. Remove any easy temptations from yourself - hide the pointy objects, the matches. Give your car keys to your spotter. And your phone too, we don't want you giving acid texts. 
7. Try and be in an easy to control environment. You don't need to be anywhere high energy to enjoy psychedelics. Don't worry, your brain will do all the wonder fo you, even if you decide to take it in your back yard. You'll probably have a hell of a conversation with the trees there. 

You totally want to talk to him. 

The big rule is not to make drugs a habit. It may be that wild thing you do once or twice. It should not become an every day thing, and should always prepare before a use. It's always a risk to take drugs because you don't know how your body will respond. But never be afraid to call for help if something goes wrong. Your life is more important than a lecture from your family.

So... yeah. I wanna do acid.

3 Things Little Girls Shouldn't Wear

Okay parents, I may not be one myself, but it's time to take responsibility for some things. This is only to the minority of you, but scarily enough the amount of those guilty are increasing. Maybe it's because of that crazy-ass Toddlers & Tiaras show (who the hell in their right mind dresses their kid as a hooker?). It's time to say be that voice for all the other bystanders out there who see little kids in clothes far too sexy, revealing, or just plain unnecessary.  

1. High Heels

Ladies wear these for a variety of reasons. Some want to make their legs look longer. For some, it just matches their dress. Others do it to seek a mate. And a few die-hards just have to have their heels. That's fine sweetie, you go ahead and narrow your pelvis so you have a hard time popping out a kid. But don't you dare start your 3 year-old on heels so she can have squished organs and problems.

No! Because fuck you, that's why.

There are entire collections of heels for toddlers! Go ahead and type in a search for it on Google. Take your time, I'll wait. In case you're too lazy, I did the work for you. Okay, they're not sky high and four plus inches, but if it those heels were 4 inches, they'd be the size of a little girl's forearm. There are hosts of doctors and scientists warning parents not to put their girls in heels because it can potentially cause irreparable damage and even make a female unable to give birth vaginally. 

2. Thongs

Yes, you saw that right. Thongs. Kmart got some major backlash for having crotchless thongs for girls as young as 7. Yes, that's right. Seven. What the hell does a 7 year-old need a thong for? 

There's no need to go into the nitty gritty about thongs (but I will anyway). Even for older women, those who wear thongs have a higher chance of getting UTIs and vaginal infections. It's quite simple really. There's a string. In your ass. Moving about swishes that little piece of fabric back and forth, letting all the bacterial near your ass to travel to Va-jay-jay land. Symptoms of these issues can include but are not limited to: painful urination, trouble urinating, odorous crotch, and bad discharge. That's exactly the kind of completely preventable ailment some parents are giving their kid.

3. Shorts with "Juicy" on Them

Like them, or hate them, these bastard shorts are here to stay. Before it was something of a novelty, but now the words on shorts are just increasing. A lot of brands are now including a pair of shorts with the company logo on them. But I draw the line at seeing them for girls.

Now a days, sparkly words and glitter are appearing on all things tush: jeans, shorts, pajamas, everything. Sure, the company might say "Oh, these are designed for our teen line," but who the hell is willingly letting their kid out of the house with this? First of all, shorts designed for "teens" still come in extra-small, more than fitting for girls younger than the advertised age. Even so, if I saw my teen daughter with anything on the ass of her shorts, I'd make her wear amish garb.

Even putting "cute" designs on the butt of jeans is just not appropriate for little girls. Sure, a pretty butterfly might be on it, bit it's not needed. I'm sorry, I know we shouldn't dress specifically to protect ourselves from other people. No matter what you do, they'll always be an asshole. But look at the message you're sending to your girl. There is emphasis to the butt. The butt is important. The butt is something to show off. There is more to girls than their ass and those lessons should be taught without the word "Juicy."

Thursday Book Rec: Fast Food Nation

One book I think every one should read is the infamous Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser. Also a documentary you can watch, Fast Food Nation delves into the dirty business of mass food production. If you're a fan of KFC or the mighty Big Mac, you might see yourself pushing away after reading this book.

Yes you. You are a monster for eating this poor baby chick! (but the crunchy chick is Soooo good!)

If you were ever interested in learning how the government aided Big Farming and basically screwed the little guy, this is a great, readable book. Times may change and the book might be 10 years old, but it's a good read will a multitude of still-valid information for the everyday consumer. Schlosser also analyzes how U.S. culture was prime for the domination of fast food and how our lifestyles have evolves with it.

Overall, a really good read the covers a variety of topics that all center on one thing: what we put in our mouth. Being a more informed consumer is tougher these days, considering botched label laws, product fillers, media propaganda, and major food lobbyists. If you want to be enlightened, pick this baby up.

How's What's and Whys

Welcome all!

Today's the start of great things! At this point no one's around to care, but someone's eventually going to be asking questions about my blog and the stereotypical How's, What's, and Why's of Mayhem. So here they are.

Neuronic Mayhem was created to say some of the more radical ideas that come up but never make it to paper. So, the general focus is modern day Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll (and religion and politics). Basically it's the "things you wouldn't say at dinner with people you need to impress," blog.

There's also a lighter side. Along with suffering from an extreme case of lack-a-filter, I'm also interested in education and promoting education of others. Along with rants about the newest political blunder, there will be book recommendations, social observations, along with stuff I find interesting.

I'll put out the warning/disclaimer you're supposed to: I'm not racist, bigoted, sexist, or any other "ist" you want to apply. I'm just allergic to schmucks and stupid. That's it: schmucks and stupid. Oh! And if you're of fundamental religious faith? You shouldn't stick around. I'm not really a fan of army-breeding, zombie brigades with complimentary faith symbols of eternal suffering and repentance.

Bottom Line: Don't be a dick. If you're a dick, then Fuck You.

So, now that we got that out of the way: Let the games and flames begin!